Dirty Fabrications: September 2014

Saturday, 20 September 2014

The Spanking League - 2

Not quite enough to make it into the premier league of spankable celebrities, this post contains this still rather naughty list of females. Due to the massive overload of multiple scores, league 2 only comprises of first and second placed spankee's.

Joint First - 87

Michelle Tractenberg

Eva Mendes

Helen Flanagan

Eve Torres

Kat Dennings

Katie Cassidy

Lena Headey

Joint Second - 86

Lindsay Lohan

Amy Dumas

Fergie

Melina Perez

Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Morrison

Isla Fisher

Lucy Lawless

Laurie Holden

Shakira

Kate Hudson

Kate Beckinsale

Sophie Turner

The Completed Celebrity Spanking League (Premier)

Polls are forever being made trying to settle which celebrity they would most like to spank, this is Dirty Fabrication's league of spankable celebrities. The league placings are based on a score judged on factors ranging from body shape to real life behaviour. The total scoring is out of a hundred and only the top 20 make it in to the league (unless in a multiple placing). Only those that have been inducted through the spanking league qualifiers will appear as there are endless celebrities to grade.

Can't find one you think should be in? Try looking in The Qualifiers or League 2 and 3.

Here's how they've been judged in what I think is the perfect spanking formula.

Durability
1 - 2 Frail/ Tough 3-4/ 50/50 5

Reaction (1-15)
1 - 5 Silence 6 - 10 Tears 11-15 tantrum

Red Finish (1-15)
1 - 5 - black - 6 - 10 tanned 11 - 15 - Pale

TV character Annoyance/media provocation (1-10)
1 - 3 all nice 4 - 6 mixed 7 - 8 mostly bitchy 9 - 10 All bitches

Real Life Behaviour/asking for it (1-15)
1 - 5 - None to tame 6 - 10 Events of sort 11 - 15 - Shameful

Ass (1-5)
1 = no ass 2 = large ass 3 = Average 4 = firm ass 5 = perfect

Figure (1-15)
1 - 4 = Small skinny and flat 5-7 = average and small 8-9 average and large 10-12 = great but small 13-15 = perfect

Fashion (dress, hobbies)
1 - 3 = frocks 4 - 6 skirts 7 - 8 = shorts 9 - 10 = jeans/trousers

Feminism/tomboy 1 - 10

The Spanking Premier League

First Place Score - 93

Sarah Rafferty

The fiery redhead tops the league, known best for her role in Suits as Donna, Sarah possesses nearly all the attributes for a desirable spankee.

Joint Second Place - 92

Trish Stratus

Who hasn't thought about spanking Trish Stratus? Famous for being the greatest WWE diva of all time, Trish has even been on the receiving end of a few spankings herself live in the squared circle.

Mary Louise Parker

Who cares if Mary is over the 50 marker, known for her lead role in the tv series Weeds, Mary has received on screen spankings and as you can see, is not afraid to show the world her butt. Could you say no to that?

Joint Third Place 91

Kelly Kelly

^ Enough Said.

Stephanie McMahon

Another WWE Diva but who can blame us? Anyone growing up in the wrestling attitude era has wanted to put her over the knee at some point. Talented at enraging the viewers, Stephanie is definitely a must spank.

Joint Fourth Place 90's

Liz Hurley

I'm not sure what it is about Liz Hurley, is it the beautiful looks? Or is it the extreme English accent that even an Englishman finds seductive. All I know is that it would be a welcomed addition to the sound of a good hard slapping.

Jennifer Carpenter

Perhaps it's the character that she plays on Dexter but I don't think anyone can disagree that the language that Jennifer has used throughout the series has warranted a trip of the knee. You can't help but wonder how she would react to a good spanking and we're not scared of assuming she'd be throwing a good old fashioned tantrum.

Kaley Cuoco

Known for two hit tv series (8 simple rules and the big bang theory, the blonde bomshell has developed a reputation for being more masculine than her male neighbours. I can't help but think, if put over the knee it would force a fantastic reaction.

Multiple Fifth Place 89
Evangeline Lilly